Embrace Your Child as She IS

Last week, I was talking to one of my coaching clients and she seemed very unhappy with the way her daughter had turned out to be. I tried to understand what she meant by that and why she felt that way. Her daugher, who is eleven, is a straight-A student, well-behaved. She loves reading, she speaks three languages. She is well-adjusted and friendly, loves volunteering at her local church, playing piano and playing tennis. Finally, she is a very caring and inspiring older sister to her little brother.

Although the mom was proud of all the things her daughter had accomplished at such a young age, her daughter had missed the mark on something that my client considered extremelly important “lacrosse.” The mom had played lacrosse when she was a child until her undergraduate years, and had dreamed about having a daughter who followed her steps on that sport. Her daughter gave it a try, but wasn’t interested at all, she didn’t find it enjoyable, and she didn’t want to miss tennis or piano to go to lacrosse.

The mom was having a hard time letting go of the dream of what her ‘ideal daughter’ would be; and embracing the amazing daughter she had. Of course, the daughter was feeling unloved and unwanted by her mother, despite all the good things she was doing; and didn’t really understand what was going on. Obviously there’s something causing the mom to put so much importance on this particular sport, something that was ingrained in her thoughts and believes when she was growing up.

This story compelled me to invite you to let your children grow as the unique individuals they already are. Allow them to discover themselves, their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses. Your children are not you, and they should be able to have their own dreams and aspirations, and more often than not, those will be different from your own dreams and aspirations.

Appreciate the individuality of each child a blessing and pursue ways to expand on that. Be open minded, and don’t push your child into pursuits that they are not interested in. When you find yourself trying to impose your own agenda on your child, look inside yourself, think about what’s pushing you to make that decision, what part of your upbringing is creating this behavior. Believe in and love your kids for who they are. Allow them to be their true self and embrace them as they are.

“The best parents are the ones who let their kids know: ‘I believe in you,’ and don’t add the caveat, ‘but I’d like you to be thinner, smarter, etc.”

Lenore Skenazy

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Sleep Training & Parenting Coaching Philosophy

Many parents ask us about our beliefs and principles, which is an essential question to ask before you hire a sleep consultant or parenting expert or follow a book on the subject. You want to make sure before you start implementing any sleep strategy or parenting advice, that you share the principles with the experts giving you the advice.

In Smooth Parenting we believe:

  • Parents should promote and support the physical, emotional, social, and intellectual development of their children from babyhood to adulthood.
  • Children must know that they are unconditionally loved and that their parents will always be there for them.
  • Children must feel happy, respected, valued, loved, acknowledged, safe and protected in order to thrive and achieve their potential in life.
  • The dignity and rights of children must be respected.
  • Sleeping, eating and exercising are basic needs for babies and children.
  • Consistency and team work are key in order to be successful at parenting.
  • We believe that babies and children thrive when their lives are organized and when they know what’s expected of them.
  • An ‘structured routine’ adapted to each family’s individual circumstances is essential to create a chaos-free and stress free home.
  • Every child is unique, special and should be treated as such.
  • There’s always a reason/motivation/cause for children to cry, protest, misbehave, be aggressive… and that in order to solve that behavior, parents need to discover it and solve it.
  • It is important for parents to model appropriate behavior and to establish expectations as well as limits.
  • Physical punishment or disciplining techniques are never the right way to go.

Our parenting techniques promote independence, self-esteem, self-assurance, open communication, love, empowerment and self-improvement. We respect and follow the guidelines provided by the American Association of Pediatrics.

We know that our approach and methods are effective, and although not always easy to implement, we will be there with the parents every step of the way.