Two Thousand Kisses A Day

Those of us who’ve decided to follow a gentle parenting approach with our children know that this path doesn’t come without bumps on the road. Many think that gentle parenting is a permissive, lazy, dessorganized or hippy. Others think it’s a radical form of parenting that pushes breastfeeding, co-sleeping, babywearing, and elimination-communication on everyone, regardless of the circumstances.

 
We know that gentle parenting is neither one nor the other. As L. R. Knost puts it in her new book ‘Two Thousand Kisses a Day’, gentle pareting is all about meeting our children’s need for secure connection.
 
But how do we do that? We are surrounded by articles, books and pareting journals advising us not do use punitive discipline, not to spank our children, not to use rewards and bribes, not to label and humiliate our children, not to yell at them… and to be present, to create moments of connection with our children, to meet our children’s needs, to be firm but loving, to set limits… 
 
ImageHowever, all this general information sometimes confusses many gentle, positive parents. Many of the parents I work with privately or that I meet at my parenting seminars tell me that they understand the general principles of gentle parenting and positive discipline (loving guidance), but need clear examples on how to apply that to their day to day lives with their children.
 
Well, Linda’s book might just be the solution for these parents. Linda R.Knost is a children’s book and parenting author and founder and director of Little Hearts/Gentle Parenting Resources, an online resource for gentle parenting education, articles, and research. 
 
Linda gives clear examples, fantastic suggestions and clear information for gentle parents wanting to develope secure, healthy, lifelong connections with their children. In the book she doesn’t only give guidance on how to parent during the formative years of a child, but also during their teenage years and young adulthood. Linda is a mom of six children herself, which gives her a valuable perspective of 25 years raising children.
 
‘Two thousand kisses a day’ become ‘two thousand points of connection a day’ as our children grow up. As Linda describes it ‘Creating two thousand connection points a day isn’t about quality time, and it isn’t even about the quantity of time spent with our children. It is, instead, about being there in the small moments, the moments that matter to our children, and consciously meeting with them right where they are.
 
I absolutely love the simplicity and clarity of this statement, because I believe that’s what parenting is all about, it’s about relationship and connection, it’s about meeting our children’s needs, it’s about being consciously present, it’s about making sure our children know they’re unconditionally loved, it’s about being in our children’s lives now.
 
~ Diana Blanco
 
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This post is part of the Virtual Book Tour for the launch of L.R.Knost’s Two Thousand Kisses a Day: Gentle Parenting Through the Ages and Stages. Click here if you’d like to check out all of the other stops on the tour! 
 
Smooth Parenting followers are invited to take advantage of a special offer from author L. R. Knost:
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Diana G. Blanco, M.B.A., is a Certified Youth, Parenting and Family Coach; Positive Discipline Educator; Child Sleep Expert; and the founder of Smooth Parenting, a gentle parenting and positive discipline advocacy, education and coaching center for parents, childcare providers and educators. 

Smooth Parenting provides private parent coaching as well as online and live parenting education; helping parents around the world develop gentle positive connections with their childrens, solve their discipline and power struggles, get a good night sleep and live a peaceful, smooth and happy family life. Her approach to parenting, discipline and child sleep education is gentle, individualized and effective. New York Family Magazine recently wrote “Blanco was everything she had seemed like on the phone—sweet, smart, and passionate about baby sleep, […] she reminded me of a gentler version of the SuperNanny“.

Diana is the author of  the book ‘Smooth Baby Sleep. 6 Simple Steps to Gently Help Your Child Sleep,’ a clear, easy to read and effective guide to gently help children sleep from birth to toddlerhood. She is also a contributing author of ‘Celebrating Moms and Motherhood.’

To read more articles by Diana and learn more about Smooth Parenting, parenting coaching, healthy child sleep, positive discipline and loving guidance, teleseminars, webinars and events, please visit www.SmoothParenting.com

Claim your FREE copy of our audio class ’7 Strategies to Gently Help Your Baby Sleep’ at http://www.SmoothParenting.com, and receive our complimentary weekly ezine ‘Smooth Parenting Secrets‘ full of simple, proven and easy-to-implement parenting tips that will help you take the guesswork out of baby sleep, potty training, discipline and many other parenting topics. Download yours here!

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Spank Out Day

Today is “Spank-Out Day”, dedicated to raising awareness about the damage that spanking causes to children, and encouraging parents to find gentle, positive, loving, respectful and effective alternatives to guide our children through life.

Since as long as I can remember I’ve been against spanking or any other type of corporal punishment. I was occasionally spanked by my mom growing up, and never spanked by my dad. So, I am not one of those people who made the decision not to spank after experiencing it first hand. However, I did experienced the lack of connection, and I know how harmful that is.

Since I became a mom, Dr. Laura Markham’s words always stay with me as I parent my daughters ‘Connection before correction.’ The message sounds so simple, and yet it is so powerful. If that’s your mantra as a parent, even if you thought spanking was an option, you would never spank your kids. If you take the time to connect with them, to really CONNECT with them, with their feelings, with yours… from that place, it’s impossible to make the rational decision to physically harm your children in order for them to learn a lesson.

For those of you who need a little bit more convincing or information about the negative effects of spanking, and who need effective alternatives to it, here are some articles that are absolutely worth reading.

Great readings about alternatives to corporal punishment:

Love,

Diana-

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Diana G. Blanco, B.B.A, M.B.A., is a Certified Youth, Parenting and Family Coach; a Baby and Toddler Sleep Expert; and the founder of Smooth Parenting. Diana is also a member of the American Association of Sleep Medicine.

Smooth Parenting provides baby and toddler sleep consultancions; parent coaching and parenting education; helping families around the world get a good night sleep and a peaceful, smooth and happy family life. Her approach to sleep training and parenting is gentle, progressive, effective, holds the wellbeing of the child first, and follows the guidelines provided by the American Academy of Pediatrics. New York Family Magazine recently wrote “Blanco was everything she had seemed like on the phone—sweet, smart, and passionate about baby sleep, […] she reminded me of a gentler version of the SuperNanny“.

Diana is the author of  the book ‘Smooth Baby Sleep. 6 Simple Steps to Gently Help Your Child Sleep,’ a clear, easy to read and effective guide to gently help children sleep from birth to toddlerhood. She is also a contributing author of ‘Celebrating Moms and Motherhood.’

To read more articles by Diana and learn more about Smooth Parenting, parenting coaching, baby sleep consultations, teleseminars, webinars and evetns, please visit www.SmoothParenting.com

Claim your FREE copy of our audio class ’7 Strategies to Gently Help Your Baby Sleep’ at http://www.SmoothParenting.com, and receive our complimentary weekly ezine ‘Smooth Parenting Secrets‘ full of simple, proven and easy-to-implement parenting tips that will help you take the guesswork out of baby sleep, potty training, discipline and many other parenting topics. Download yours here!

Follow us on Facebook athttp://www.Facebook.com/SmoothParenting

Nightmares & Night-terrors. What to do?

Children spend more time dreaming than adults do, so they have more dreams than we do, both good and bad. What is the difference between a nightmare and a night-terror? and what should you do in each situation?

Nightmares

Nightmares are bad dreams that happen during rapid eye movement (REM) or dream sleep. He may also be afraid to fall back asleep, and he’ll probably remember that he had a bad dream. A baby or child who had a nightmare is likely to have a clear idea of what scared him, although he probably will not be able to his fright until he’s about 2 years old.

Night Terrors

Night terrors occur in at least 5% of young children and can start as early as 9 months. These mysterious disturbances happen during deep, non-dreaming sleep. When a child is having a night-terror will cry, whimper, flail, and even bolt out of bed. Although his eyes may be wide open, he’s not awake and isn’t aware of your presence.

The night terror can last anywhere  from a few minutes to half an hour or more. Once it is over, your child will return to a sound sleep and have no memory of the incident in the morning.

How to respond?

The best response to a nightmare and to prevent future nightmares is to help your child confront and overcome his fears of the dark, such as letting a nightlight or a special stuffed toy to sleep with.

The best responses to a nightmare are:

  • Be there and offer comfort.
  • Stay with your child until she feels relaxed and ready to sleep.
  • Stay calm and convey to your child that what’s happening is normal and that all is well.
  • Reassure your child that he’s safe and that it’s OK to go back to sleep.
  • If your child wakes with a nightmare, stay with her until she feels relaxed and ready to go to sleep.
  • The best responses to night terrors are:

    • a gentle pat, along with comforting words or “shhh” sounds,
    • make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. Don’t speak to him or try to soothe him,
    • don’t try to shake or startle him awake or physically restrain him — all of which could lead to more frantic behavior.

    If it’s a night terror, in 15 to 20 minutes, your child should calm down, curl up, and fall into a deep sleep again. If it’s a nightmare, he might need a little more time to calm down and go back to sleep.

    What to do to prevent them?

    To prevent nightmares, the best thing to do is to prevent things that scare your child during the day; and to help him comfront and overcome his fears.

    To prevent night-terrors, make sure that he is getting enough sleep, since children who go to bed overtired are more likely to experience these type of sleep disturbances.